"He is your real FRIEND!", I keep telling myself, day after day after day.
We spent a good part of college years together and shared the same passion for ... something worthy of our passions. Well, he is passionate about his girlfriend. And I am passionate about any girls with enough curves and handful-grip boobs. Still I helped him when he is down and out, and he did the same for me.
But he is a bit dim witted. And I can't stand that.
No, he is not some kind of retard. He knows how to wear his pants right and eat properly with spoon and fork. Actually he is pretty clever about about everything except some common sense.
His common sense is as good as people who drink milk by sucking into the nose.
He put a 4 x 2 feets rabbit cage in my living room. Inside lives two damn rabbits that do nothing but pee, poo, eat, have sex, scratch, jump, sleep, and rape each other at every chance. The rabbits are not cute okay.
Every night I come home, I see two big rats. When I walked into the house I literally walked into a giant rabbit toilet. The toilets cleaners has run off with the soaps and the floor is sprouting mushrooms from the pee nutrients. If you think this is bad, I found my slipers torned, my books chewed on the sides, and sometimes I see black brown rabbit droppings under my desk.
I was pissed when the cage size doubled.
I am fuming in red when the rabbits didn't die after two months.
I am ready to kill when the rabbits had four cute little babies.
Do you love chocolate? Rabbits love them too. I am gonna feed them some Hershey kisses. Soon now.
But you see, those damn rabbits did more than that. They almost killed a healthy friendship. It's difficult to live with dim witted people. I know because I have to use Tony Robbins' tapes to NPL my ass to stop thinking about feeding those damn rabbits with chocolates.
Sometimes I wish I have more balls. I need the extra push to tell them that it is really really stupid to try talking to rabbits in English. ermmm... in Mandarin, Hokkien or whatever. hmm actually I am a bit guilty here.
I talk to the rabbits sometimes. Not as much as the
human parents but my lack of quantity I make up with quality.
"Stupid rabbits, go sleep la."
"Touch that and I will stuff that broom to ya ass."
"Cibai"
Short, sweet, and concise. Rabbits should understand that.
Look, it's really hard. I am hard pressed to walk to the nearest
Project store now and get those cheapo buy-2-free-1 chocolate with raisins and nuts. I don't eat cheap stuff. I hope the rabbits like it.
"He is your real FRIEND!"
oh fucker.
